Noise filled the air along Mass. Ave. Luggage in hand, I ran through alleyways, feeling like a masked hero as I leapt over objects in my path. Obviously lost, I hastily read street signs. Finally, I dashed into the complex. As I stopped to read the sign “Harvard University” however, my stomach suddenly began to churn and the strength and agility that I previously possessed faded. I crept toward Currier House, quietly chanting, “It’s not too late to turn back.” But I ignored my own advice.
As our first activity at College Preview, we were instructed to write down who we wanted to be known as and to sum one another up in a short phrase. I scribbled the words “respected, brilliant, and happy,” for my description. We read our descriptions aloud and laughed at their striking similarities. The spotlight shone on me, and I ripped off the tags stuck to my body. The majority of them read “comic book nerd.” I was not surprised; after all, I was wearing a Superman t-shirt. Uncomfortable and embarrassed, I laughed and folded my arms across my chest. Suddenly, our instructor shouted for us to rip the tags into pieces! I thought to myself, “Why?” Then the answer came: “Tear them to shreds because you should always strive to be indefinable!”
Our instructor laughed maniacally as he snatched our cell phones and iPods away, like a true comic book villain. I couldn’t help but groan in frustration. I wondered, “How will I get to sleep now if I don’t rock to the beats of Daft Punk?” He reassured us that this entire week would be all about R.E.S.T (Restricted Environmental Stimulation Therapy). Once away from our normal environments, we could focus. Bright and early every morning, we rushed downstairs to Harvard Yard, where the morning chill lingered in the air, and emptied our minds as we learned the practice of Tai Chi. Eyes closed, knees bent, I breathed at a snail's pace, inhaling through my nose and exhaling out of my mouth, trying not to rush. I raised my arms bit by bit, elbows moving inwards as I shifted my body weight, moving through the various twists and turns. I focused all my attention on my intricate movements and ignored thoughts of my preachy parents ordering the future they had planned for me: medical school, becoming a doctor, opening hospitals in Nigeria and of course, making lots of money.
There are constant battles in my house regarding my grades, my future and my interests. Emigrating from Nigeria, my parents had a vision of a strict education that did not involve the pursuit of outside interests or hobbies. I focused all my attention on not disappointing them, and, ironically enough, discouraged me from a well-rounded education. Without the proper explanation to give to my parents, I didn’t join clubs or play sports. But I’d often sneak off to help my friends with their club activities, although I wasn’t a member. I was relieved to hear from Professors and Deans everyday, that it was okay to indulge in what interested me because from there, I could move on to find my identity. I was also comforted because I’d no longer have a reason to lie to my parents.
While reflecting on my exercise, I decided that I did not get the most out of high school. I was frozen due to the fear of disappointing my parents. In the face of fear, I kept my interests under wraps. But with a college education, I’ll continue to volunteer for causes I believe in: the Red Cross, Charity work, Environmental issues, such as recycling. I’ll study abroad in Japan to experience the shrines and temples in Kyoto. I’ll continue to write short stories and turn them into graphic novels and make “Social Justice Man” (my superhero) a reality. I want to go to college to explore myself intellectually and sharpen my identity in effort to become a well-rounded person.
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